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Café Demi Tasse 01

By Repeat Geek

I love coming to this place. The desserts are so-so, but the beverages are out of this world. Today, I’m having DT’s Special #1. 64 ounces of pure Robusta beans. Folks who disparage the prolific canephora berry just have no idea what can be done with a little household bleach.

Ari, the barista, showed me the process, as long as I agreed to never publish it. As if! You know what they say about sausage factories? That goes double for what happens behind the counter at Café Demi Tasse. Despite having foreknowledge of the chemistry swirling in my cup, I thoroughly enjoy the taste.

I won’t have to sleep for the five days, which is great, because I’m doing some undercover research. You see, I heard about a secret society of very intelligent people. I think that, either they’re not too intelligent, or they want to be discovered. So far, I’ve got enough evidence to prove that this society is not the figment of a febrile conspiracy theorist.

First of all, there’s the whole link to media messaging. You probably heard of subliminal suggestion? Well, it turns out that a single source exists for the propagation of the concept through advertising and affirmations. Isn’t that something? Of course, when I publish my findings, I’ll have to make it sound more sinister.

How do I know the source is the same? Well, I followed something called contextual retrograde analysis protocol (CRAP). It’s like DNA for ideas. It’s more complex, though, because an idea is not restricted to two parents. Trust me, I went to school for this. In fact I was awarded a B.S. in Systems Engineering.

Anyway, I used CRAP filtering on many instances of known subliminal advertising messages. I cross-indexed the resulting strands with those from a separate filtering on self-help tapes. The intersection led to a strange pair of words: Per Brogan. What they mean, I have no idea, but I’m sure this DT’s Special #1 will keep me on track!

Oops! I better get going. Don’t want to be late for my day job.

4 Responses to “Café Demi Tasse 01”

  1. Holy CRAP – it’s all Chris’s fault???
    Holly Jahangiri would be over the moon if you read Champagne and Strawberries = Vindication!My Profile

  2. That’s so funny because I had the same thought as Holly! But you’ve got to love that, “contextual retrograde analysis protocol”; I think I use that as a way to scan stuff as well. 🙂
    Mitch Mitchell would be over the moon if you read The First Year Of My Grandmother’s PassingMy Profile

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