Pandemonium and havoc descended upon the Crypt. Incredulous voices demanded explanations. Alicia, wide-eyed with confused shock, turned to Sarah, who merely shrugged and shook her head. Chute held up his hands in supplication.
“Please, please! Let me explain.” Chute tried to compose himself. The other Crypt togglers stopped yelling and sat down to wait. Chute used those few moments to take a few deep breaths. When the room was completely quiet, he began:
“I was part of the selection committee that appointed Eenie and Meenie. When Heds and Taylor retired, the rulers set up an open examination for qualifying the applicants. Meenie ranked first, T. T. came in second and Eenie was third. The selection committee sent congratulatory letters to Meenie and T. T. However, when the rulers reviewed the list, they decreed that the twins should not be separated and overturned the committee’s choices.
“Of course, T. T. was furious. She refused to attend the celebrations and took a leave of absence from her editorial job. The next time she showed up, she announced that the rulers had been stripped of their authority. She appointed Harris and Sarah Gate as the new rulers and promoted herself from Editor-in-chief to Editorial Director. Then, she fired all of the other chiefs and took over the third floor of the Administration Building.
“In an effort to consolidate her power, she began to sabotage the Square Knot Complex. Her systematic approach prevented us from organizing against her. That’s why Harris asked us to send out hidden messages in the puzzles.” Chute looked at Alicia. “That’s why you’re here. We have to find our rulers!”
Alicia looked back at Chute with fear in her eyes. “Puzzles are supposed to be fun! I helped you with all of those sabotaged images. I helped you find the pattern in her mischief. We helped each other! What makes you think I can find your rulers? I don’t even know where to start!”
“Calm down, dears.” Sarah rose from the great chair and addressed Alicia specifically, “You have been brilliant. We know that you can find our rulers because your profile is nearly identical to T. T.’s.”
“I’m sorry, what?” Alicia gaped.
Sarah explained, “When Harris asked the Crypt togglers to send out clues, Sizzles came up with the idea to rate the magazines according to how heavily they were edited by T. T. The one you received was almost completely overhauled; more of her personality is present than in any of the other publications.”
Alicia, shocked as she was, had to smile at Sizzles. She gave him a tentative thumbs-up, more for the idea than for the insinuation. She asked Sarah, “So, have there been others?”
Sarah shrugged her beefy shoulders. “We don’t know. As soon as you arrived, we closed the Gateway. What we do know is that you’re our best hope!”
In counterpoint, Alicia’s shoulders sagged. She looked around at all the trusting, big-eyed little people who were counting on her. “Fine,” she sighed. “Let’s roll.”
***
Alicia was doodling with the Lexibus. She had allowed her mind to wander over her adventure; the synchronicities of her discoveries that led her inexorably to the twisted heart of T. T. LeClerc were fascinating when considered as a whole. She tried to view the rulers as T. T. might have. That made her wonder what it would have been like to be accepted into the Crypt. T. T. probably would have shaken up this stodgy group with clever playfulness. Thunderstruck, Alicia realized that T. T. would have been a lot like her! She spoke aloud, “You know, I can’t really blame her.”
Sarah and the Crypt togglers looked at her. Chute hung his head. Nervous coughs punctured the uncomfortable silence.
Alicia clarified, “I mean, I wouldn’t have kidnapped anyone or anything like that, but I would be looking for the real reasons for their actions. I thought the rulers always made the right decisions?”
“Who told you that?” Papaya looked skeptical. “Obviously, that didn’t happen, here.”
Meenie, with not a little menace, snarled, “What do you mean by that?”
Alicia hurriedly interceded, “My guide told me that. When he was leading me to the Nevergreen Forest. He was full of riddles, though, so maybe he meant something else. Forget I mentioned it.”
She couldn’t help herself–she had to add, “But still. How do you go from cleverly disbanding a disruptive organization to making a decision that was sure to disrupt an organized band?”
Sarah nodded. “T. T.’s reactions do seem to fly in the face of our rulers’ established order. Heaven knows, Harris and I are the worst replacements.”
Alicia agreed. “It’s almost as if T. T. had no choice.”
Now, it was Sarah who huffed. “I don’t think we’re that bad!”
“Oh, come on! Harris couldn’t even manage the supply rooms!” Alicia gasped. “Oh, Sarah, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean that…”
Sarah sighed. “No, of course you’re right. And you’re acting out just as T. T. probably would have. If you could just channel that energy into unraveling her mind, maybe we can find the real rulers and get back to normal.”
Eenie finally spoke up, “Somehow, I feel like this is all my fault. Maybe I should have turned down my appointment, after Chute told us what had happened.”
Meenie cut him off. “Wouldn’t have mattered. T. T. had disappeared, and nobody has ever challenged the rulers.” To Alicia, he added, “Maybe you’re right. Maybe T. T. didn’t have a choice. If she didn’t, you must help us figure out why that is so.”
Alicia thought about that for a moment. “Everything T. T. has done has been about changing things around. That makes sense now that we know that she herself was switched. What if Sarah and Harris are part of this chain? Are they the opposite of the rulers?
Sizzles said, “I don’t see it. Two sets of married couples. In fact, they resemble each other, physically.”
Papaya chimed in, “The Queen can cook, too! Remember the grilled portobellos at the party?”
The Crypt Togglers groaned in delight, while Sarah playfully rolled her eyes. Alicia was glad that the room was back on an even keel, as she pressed on with her inquiries.
“Well, if they are more or less the same, the switch would have to be based on something they could do.” She snapped her fingers. “Wait! The Gates could not be rulers.”
Moe snorted, “Big whoop! Neither could any other married couple. I don’t think T. T. was that obvious.”
Before she could stop herself, Alicia blurted, “Well, Chute always thought she was unsophisticated.”
Chute, embarrassed, muttered, “I only said that to protect Eenie.”
“I’m sorry, Chute. I seem to be taking this profiling a bit too seriously.”
Chute chuckled. “That’s okay. We need you to be T. T., if we’re going to find the rulers.”
Alicia got back on track. “Okay, then, what else could the rulers do that the Gates couldn’t? Live in a palace? Is there a palace?”
Rocky shook his head. “There’s no palace. The entire estate belongs to the rulers. They chose to live in the Lexicon Library. It’s nice enough. Plus, they had an easy commute to work!” He chuckled.
Alicia was incredulous. “They worked and lived in the Library?”
Rocky nodded. “They were the Editorial Directors.”
Alicia looked confused. “But, if she switched the rulers with the Gates, why aren’t they the Editorial Directors?”
Even Sarah had to laugh at that. “Oh, dear, T. T. didn’t want to destroy Puzzleland, she wanted to rule it. Harris and I don’t know the first thing about editing a magazine. I can barely organize my recipe box!”
Alicia persisted, “Well, then, the switch must be about something else. Like feather dusters.”
Sarah said, “I’m sorry, what?”
Alicia laughed, “The printers were the reason the feather dusters went to the wrong rooms. We need to find the thing that is the reason for switching you with the rulers. What printer error sent you to the wrong room.”
Papaya squealed. “That’s it! She did it again! That’s brilliant, Alicia. Brilliant!” She frantically waved her arms for attention. All eyes were on her.
“The lobbies! T. T. switched them because they would be in the wrong lobby.”
Alicia shook her head. “That can’t be right. I went to the Gates home in the Forest, not the Library.”
“She’s right, Papaya. We haven’t moved. Harris has to travel all the way to the Administration Building. Neither of us go to the Library much.”
Alicia clapped once and whooped. “Wait! Wait! T. T. wasn’t trying to punish you. Papaya is right! T. T. would banish the rulers to a place that resembled their home but was different in some ways. The Library is in the heart of the Square Knot Complex, Sarah’s home is in the middle of nowhere. The lobby similarity fits the whole twin theme.”
The Crypt was buzzing. Alicia was on to something. Chute asked, “Do you think our rulers were exiled to Nevergreen Forest?”
Alicia nodded. “I do. Everything T. T. has done has been about switching and pairs. Maybe the genius was in coming up with the exile swap. After that, she probably just built on the theme. Taunting you every step of the way.”
Chute took charge. “Well, what are we waiting for! Let’s get over there!”
***
For the first time in ages, the Crypt togglers emerged from their living tomb. Sarah and Alicia led the group in a frenzied dash to the Nevergreen Forest. The togglers took forever, as they kept stopping to look up at the gray clouds and down at the swirling gray grass. Nathan popped up from one clump with cheeks stuffed. Chute ordered him to alert all of the residents. The togglers finally settled down and the group picked up the pace.
At last, they arrived at the clearing in the forest. Harris was waiting for them at the door, as was Nathan, Theodore the servant, and nearly every resident of Puzzleland. When Harris saw his wife, he rushed out and gave her a big hug.
“You think this nightmare is over?”
Sarah patted her husband on the arm. “I think so, dear. I really think so.”
Chute came up to Theodore, who bowed deeply. Chute snorted, “Oh, get up! You’re from the Library, aren’t you?”
Alicia waggled her finger at Theodore. “I bet he was in on it the whole time! I wondered why I saw you there.”
Theodore trembled and bowed again. “Please, Miss. I had to do whatever Miss LeClerc told me to!”
Alicia snarled, “Not anymore. Now you have to listen to me. Where are they?”
Theodore practically fainted from fright. He saw the change in the little girl who had first stepped into the lobby. By far, she was scarier than LeClerc. He pulled himself together and declared, “Very well. This way, please.”
Sarah, Harris and Chute followed Theodore into the lobby. Alicia pushed her way past the other Crypt togglers and marched into the lobby behind the Gates. She heard Theodore explaining to them that the “Evil Editor” had the keys to the door. She listened as Sarah, uncharacteristically, barked at the servant.
“Theodore, you know those doors don’t mean anything! All the rooms are connected by hallways.”
Theodore bowed. “Yes, Ma’am. But Miss LeClerc didn’t know that. The rulers made me swear not to tell her.”
Everyone was in an uproar.
“What?”
“They knew?”
“They could have walked out whenever they wanted to?”
“What’s the meaning of this?”
In all the noise and confusion, no one saw a rather large, cheerful lady step from behind one of the twelve doors, followed by a grinning thin man. The man cleared his throat. Once.
A hush fell over the lobby. Suddenly, everyone was crowding around their beloved rulers, hugging, crying, tut-tutting and carrying on. Alicia stood apart from the mad crowd, surprised at this rough treatment of supposedly royal people. The rulers appeared to be taking it all in stride, though.
The thin man–the king–called out to Chute. “Chute, Eenie, Meenie. We owe you three a huge apology. We never meant to hurt you or Taupe.”
The crowd parted; the royal couple strode forward to stand before the Crypt Togglers. The queen spoke next. “We had to make amends, didn’t we? And it looks like Taupe has risen to the occasion in grand fashion. We do hope you’ll forgive her, she acted with our full permission and cooperation.”
Alicia was stunned. “I’m sorry, what?”
The queen turned to Alicia. “Where are my manners? Come here, child, and meet the Lord and Lady of Puzzleland!”
Alicia, suddenly shy, shuffled toward the queen. She half-curtsied, half-bowed and stammered, “How do you do?”
The king laughed uproariously. “Oh, we don’t stand on pomp. May I present my lovely wife, Ether. I am Oar.”
Alicia smiled. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Well, I’m Alicia. Pleased to meet you. Why did you put us through all of that?”
Queen Ether answered, “As I said, we had to make amends. We couldn’t see ourselves overturning our own rules, unless doing so would solve more problems than the confusion would have created. Rather than overturn the ruling that we had already overturned, we kept the twins together in the Crypt.”
King Oar continued, “Instead, we overturned our ban on the Ordo Templi Orientis and installed Taupe as its newest Grand Mistress.” He giggled and said, “Right now, she is the only member, but she does have a list of eligible members. Maybe we should just let her do the honors.”
The crowd murmured. Many of them were not quite ready to forgive T. T. LeClerc, despite what the rulers said. Harris Gate was one of them.
“I’ll not have that woman in my house!”
King Oar laughed. “Oh, Harris, who can blame you? She really had fun at your expense. But, out of respect for your wishes, we should all go see her at the Library. It’s high time Ether and I got back to our own home, anyway!”
And so it went. A huge throng, led by King Oar and Queen Ether, wound through the Nevergreen Forest to the Lexicon Library. Someone had replaced the escalator with a sturdy ramp and the royal couple made their way up to the open door of the Library.
Taupe Trapue LeClerc was waiting for them in the grand lobby. She ran up to them and hugged each as hard as she could. As she held on to the queen, the crowd surged into the lobby, practically filling the entire area. Taupe stepped away, finally, to confront everyone.
“In the days to come, you’ll learn the full story. For now, I want to apologize for the chicanery, the inconveniences and all of the trouble. I must say, though, I enjoyed it immensely and, for that reason, I no longer hold a grudge against you or our beloved rulers.
“The King and Queen convinced me that anger was pointless. They knew I needed to get it out of my system, so they allowed me to take my revenge in the only acceptable way–puzzle challenges. I hadn’t expected the Crypt togglers to be buffaloed. I’m humbled by that.
“I’m also humbled by the clever Gateway puzzles. So much so, that I hereby announce that Sizzles is the first member to be inducted into the new Ordo Templi Orientis!”
Scattered applause greeted this proclamation. Harris, who’d had his arms crossed during T. T.’s speech, finally smiled when she acknowledged the Gateway puzzles, conveniently ignoring the fact that his sole contribution was to name the collection.
Sizzles came up to Taupe and gave her a hug. And, just like that, everything was all right in Puzzleland.
The End
